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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?